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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 15:49:04 GMT -5
Mano left the Tower well before noon. Seeing the place at breakfast had been a hell of an experience in and of itself, with so many beings busy tending to seemingly endless tasks. Once he'd had his breakfast and was left alone with those who either needed no schooling or were too young for it, he had worked his way out until he could floo away. Eros' late letter the night before had been met with mixed reviews as far as his emotional state was concerned.
Eros had signed his name, something Mano had fixated on without knowing why, which made him happy. The guarantee of a quick return home also made him happy, though he was also wary and wasn't sure how he would react upon seeing his husband again. The uncertainty and twinge of excitement had made it difficult to sleep, but not so much as the previous night.
He headed to the shop in Diagon Alley, a trip he needed to make more often. After some few hours spent there, he shifted his attention to his newer shop, which brought back thoughts of where his next might be. Hogsmeade, perhaps? Or he could follow Markise's lead and go international. The thoughts kept him occupied until it was nearly five, when he chose to walk home rather than apparate. The crisp air would help clear his mind and also take up time so that he would be idle for a shorter time at home waiting.
Finally, at home, he showered, washing away the stress of the past 36 or so hours, and put on clothes that were actually clean and hasn't just been given a once-over with his wand that morning. He settled himself in the living room on a sofa with a book, and tried not to constantly check the door.
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 16:15:50 GMT -5
When Eros entered, it was with a simple handheld travel bag in one hand and a just-larger-than-fist-sized gift box in the other. As desperately as he'd needed to sequester himself to calm and think, he was aware that he'd hurt Mano in the process. He set his bag beside the door for Orenda to take later and brought out the words he'd carefully chosen earlier that day.
"Please forgive my thoughtlessness, Mano. Emotion is no excuse for leaving my lover and best friend alone and confused. It will never happen again."
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 16:27:47 GMT -5
At the sound of the door, Mano had turned his head nearly quickly enough to strain his neck. Seeing Eros sent a wave of relief washing over him, and in just a moment he was on his feet, the book laying forgotten on a cushion. He approached Eros, though he held back the urge to hold him and kiss him. Sometimes, words were needed rather than the physical. "Of course you're forgiven," he said. He couldn't do anything else. "Just...if you need space again in the future, please tell me first rather than disappearing."
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 16:35:15 GMT -5
"Whether or not I am able to speak to you first, I will not disappear again." This was a definitive statement, and Eros waited a moment after it to let himself look over Mano, to assure himself that his husband was all right. "Come, sit with me," he suggested. A hand lit on Mano's shoulder, comforting and sure. He wanted to hold Mano, but they'd have all night, once they'd spoken.
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 16:44:06 GMT -5
Mano reached up to touch that hand on his shoulder, the contact highlighting things he had missed even if it had only truly been a day. Apparently it was easy to take for granted the casual touches they shared throughout the day without thought. Then he nodded and turned toward the sofa, picking the book up from its place when he arrived to close it with a bookmark and set it on the coffee table. "You got what you needed?" he asked once sitting.
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 16:49:47 GMT -5
"I did," Eros said, sitting beside his husband. He set the gift box on the table for now. The right moment to present it would come soon enough. He shifted to face Mano better, and decided to begin where his thoughts had begun the day before. He took his husband's hand in both of his, resting them together on one knee. He needed the contact, the closeness, as much as Mano did.
"I don't know if you realized that I had unresolved issues, apart from our own recent discussions." He waited a breath for Mano to speak, to pull away, anything.
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 17:04:25 GMT -5
Mano didn't pull away. In fact, he brought his other in to join the little pile. "I...I didn't," he admitted. "You're...you're too intelligent and guarded. I can't pick you apart like I can others." It was likely the opposite of what couples were supposed to be like. Shouldn't he know what Eros was feeling or the right words to say? But Mano had little experience dealing with those who were equal to him. "I'm not saying that those traits are bad, it's a fault on my part." So much time spent playing with others that he'd never learned to deal with people on his level or above it.
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 17:17:50 GMT -5
"No fault, Mano," Eros said. He knew he was difficult to read, had cultivated that very ability over a lifetime. It appeared that he needed to work on his communication with Mano. Their relationship was beyond any he'd ever had, and transparency was an important part of trust in a marriage.
"I've had unresolved guilt over your sister, and seeing her was a shock. She was still angry, angrier than I could have imagined, and I felt that I had broken her, worried that I had broken you somehow, and I needed to withdraw in order to see things objectively. I wanted to be certain of my thoughts and feelings about the night we married. The entire night, and my only regret is not having confronted my feelings for you sooner." Had he done so, he could have spared two women, and would not have had his moment of doubt.
"Our discussion about coming out, so to speak, brought me back to the issues I'd intended to confront with my solo holiday." There was no forgetting the hours which had led to a change of plans. "I wish to be entirely clear; I do not regret that you came with me. I would not trade the experience for anything, even enlightenment."
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 17:30:06 GMT -5
That holiday abroad had been an experience Mano would never forget, and though he had never considered the thought of Eros regretting it, it was still nice to hear. Still, he refused to look up at Eros. "If I pressed too hard, if you truly don't want to come out, we don't have to," he said. He could make that concession, even if it was just for now. "I know I push you sometimes." No, he didn't want to tell Eros he had visited Lani. That little talk had been a disaster with a meddlesome animagus lingering nearby.
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 17:41:35 GMT -5
"We push one another, Mano," Eros assured him. One hand moved, sliding free to push a bit of hair back from Mano's face. "It is one of the reasons we are so complementary with one another. We each tend to bring out what we admire about one another. Darling Husband, I love your carefree openness more than I despair of it!" And Mano knew how he despaired of it.
"I wasn't seeing things clearly. I still believe we will no longer be welcomed by the Elite, but Society itself will not crumble without us. Those whom Society has already made exceptions of will remain exceptions, should they continue as they are. I will miss the Elite, but it is not what I truly want, I have sorted through those thoughts which began to plague me when I first moved to Diagon Alley."
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 17:55:34 GMT -5
Mano's eyes had closed at that touch finally, after he had resisted the movement before when Eros touched him. Eros' touch was always a comfort when emotions ran wild and he needed grounding. Darling husband. He stowed that away as best he could in his memory(along with the despair comment, simply because it would amuse him later), then he opened his eyes to finally look up at Eros.
"I will follow your lead, then," he said. It was difficult to move away from the knowledge that he manipulated people, to acknowledge that even if he had manipulated Eros it wasn't the same and hadn't been for years. "Then what is it that you truly want? What thoughts did you need to sort?"
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 20:51:39 GMT -5
"What I want in life is a comfortable home, a loving spouse, a small family, and the ability to travel at a whim. I would like to remain in Society, but would be perfectly content outside the Elite. I quite enjoy my status and power, but again, I'd be content with quiet power rather than overt.
"I have nearly everything that I've wanted from life since I reached manhood, and so I find myself ready for children. And you, Mano? I know quite well that your hedonism needs fulfillment, that even your business is a source of pleasure, but is there anything you are lacking? Will officially snubbing the Elite truly please you?" If so, Eros was willing.
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 21:02:13 GMT -5
"Can you imagine the response?" Mano asked, just for a moment letting himself daydream about it. Of course, if he did decide that, he wouldn't be able to see it all firsthand. "It isn't about snubbing the Elite," he said after a moment. "It's more...just not caring about them. I'd rather do what makes us happy than what pleases the Elite." The only time he spent with the Elite was balls, which he did love, but he was certain they could find other balls to attend.
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Post by Eros d'Avonderre on Oct 23, 2018 21:10:39 GMT -5
"Then we could easily continue as we are, and simply turn down invitations from hosts who might protest the rather delicious looks you give me. I suppose you'll want to waltz together, though we've never done so before. I'd be agreeable for a ball hosted by our friends, if that is what you wish, but I doubt that I will ever wish to be as physically or verbally intimate in any public setting as we are in private. I'm afraid I haven't an exhibitionist bone in my body."
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Post by Mano Berwyn on Oct 23, 2018 21:19:00 GMT -5
Mano smiled. No, he didn't expect Eros to be an exhibitionist, however much he might like to get a kiss at the cafe. The delicious looks. That was another one to tuck away. Eros so rarely said such things. "Ah, but if we waltzed it would be a fight the entire time," he said, choosing to latch onto a more lighthearted bit of conversation for the moment. "You would never wish to be the following partner."
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