DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 16, 2015 14:31:17 GMT -5
He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be at home gaming his face off. He wanted to be packing to visit his parents. Hell, he'd rather be studying for finals than walking into the Crow's Nest, a multicolored firecrab stamped on his hand. There were too many people, there was too much noise, and this song was so overplayed he was sick of it. Or maybe it had to do with looking for Jory. Okay, it was definitely that.
But they'd had a deal, and he was sticking to it. When he'd avoided Jory before they got together it had been for about two months and then the two of them had finally talked. They'd worried about things affecting their friendship and had agreed that if anything happened, they had two months to get their sh~ together before they had to try talking it out.
His head was too full of thoughts and worries. Part of him still loved Jory, but another part thought this was for the best. Then there was Hayden. Sleeping together did not make a relationship, but god, he liked her. She made him feel good about himself. He wanted to do the same for her. He'd mentioned her moving in after break, but still wasn't entirely sure if she would, or if it was even a good idea. Look what had happened with Jory.
But they were just friends, right? Friends who slept together, then hung out? According to the Wise of the Webs (mostly Muggle-Borns who lived with their parents, many of whom were underage), he should just f~ Hayden and forget Jory. There hadn't been a lot of encouragement behind meeting with him. There had been some shouts to take Jory back, that Jai effing Peacock had stolen his boyfriend, but Indigo didn't believe people could be stolen like that. If someone moved on it was a symptom of something more.
Jory had moved on, it was pretty clear. Indigo had seen his ex with a certain rock star on campus more than once. Every time he'd ducked down a different corridor or taken a longer route through the buildings to avoid them. He was a pro at avoidance.
But it had been two months. It was time, he'd keep his word, and if they decided they couldn't be friends, he'd try to move on.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 16, 2015 16:34:30 GMT -5
Jory had pretended he'd forgotten the deal; just the thought of actually talking to Indigo made his stomach turn over and his chest constrict. Anxiety, nerves, pain, a sliver of something like hope. Love. However, when he saw Indigo in the club, he didn't hide like he had other times he'd seen Indigo. Things had been a little rocky with Jai and Dismas after their last discussion, but he felt generally okay with his current living situation.
Maybe it was for the best. It was a thought he'd had many times over the past weeks since The Breakup, especially since the prophecy and his meeting with Magadia. Maybe it was selfish of him to think he needed to be alone in order to move forward and improve himself. Maybe he didn't know what the right label was for his and Jai's relationship, and maybe that was okay. Maybe. Maybe life was just a whole bunch of maybes that sometimes worked out and sometimes didn't and he should really work better on trying not to force things or panic.
He took a deep breath that made his chest constrict all over again when he got a good look at Indigo, then stepped toward the guy he'd expected to spend his life with. "That time already?" he asked, and his attempt at a smile failed miserably. Maybe it would be more accurate to say finally that time? When he thought about The Breakup, it was one of those things that felt near and far at the same time.
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DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 16, 2015 17:20:28 GMT -5
Indigo turned to look, his brows knitted together. For a moment he felt completely lost. All the healing he'd convinced himself he'd done disappeared, leaving pain deep in his gut. His head tipped forward, his fringe falling over eyes that burned. His hands were jammed into the coat he wore over his hoodie. He'd unzipped it, but that was it.
"I'm a little late," he said. Of course, Jory could have come to him, but he hadn't really expected that. The only time Jory had been back was to pick up his boxes and Indigo hadn't even been there then.
His face screwed up in deep concentration, in fighting the urge to cry and the lump in his throat that sickened him. "Are... are you happy?" he choked. If Jory was happy, he could move on. He hoped Jory was happy. He hoped Jory hurt the way he did.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 16, 2015 17:27:06 GMT -5
The sound of Indigo's voice broke his heart all over again, and rather than immediately respond Jory gestured for him to follow. Turning around gave him a brief opportunity to get himself under control, and when he finally looked at Indigo again the club could still be heard, but they could talk more easily. Are you happy?
"Sometimes," he said finally. "Sometimes I am. Sometimes it's hell. I still-" he stopped himself short and looked down at his hands as they tangled together. I still smell you sometimes. I still turn over in bed expecting you to be there. I still a hundred things. "You? I...I gave another prophecy, I saw there was a girl..."
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DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 16, 2015 17:34:21 GMT -5
Indigo flicked a near-panicked glance up at Jory before looking down again, then away. He could feel the heat stealing into his face, down his neck and through his body. Some of it was shame. Some of it was pleasure he shouldn't be feeling when he was this mortified. He shook his head. "We're just... we work together. And she's kind of a friend. That's all." And the day they'd met she'd spent the night in his bed. You were drunk. Yeah, because that made it better.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 16, 2015 17:44:26 GMT -5
Lie. It felt a little unfair that he knew that kind of thing. Jory took a deep breath and spoke. "I don't think we could be together again. You might always worry that I'm cheating, and I'd always feel like I'm trying to make up for it." He glanced up at Indigo then, his eyes a little wide when he realized what he'd said. They widened a little further when he realized he meant it. "Our relationship was...brilliant." But it's passed. The silent continuation brought back the pain, as fresh and raw as it had been when he'd first confessed.
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DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 16, 2015 17:50:40 GMT -5
Indigo had given a grudging nod at not being together anymore. No matter how much he still loved Jory, he couldn't consider ever marrying him. He didn't know about brilliant, though. He'd loved Jory, he'd put everything he had into loving Jory and being good for Jory, and Jory had thrown it all away. Jory had moved on too quickly.
He shook his head again. "No, we can't be together. I cried for weeks, Jory. My parents offered to let me come home for the rest of the semester, to pay off my lease and everything. And Cauldron's closing down. I might... I might get a roommate." If Jory had had a prophecy about him, he may not need to say anything else.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 16, 2015 17:57:45 GMT -5
"I cried," Jory said. "Oh, god, I cried. You were so, so good to me, and I screwed it all up, I always screw things up. I haven't even told my parents what actually happened because I'm too bloody ashamed!" He caught himself then and tried to force some kind of control. His hands rose to rub at his face, if only to give him some other sensation to focus on than the threat of new tears.
"I hate that I hurt you. I hate it. You deserved better, and I'm just-" Another stop, another attempt at control. "Get a roommate, you don't need to be alone," he said in a soft voice. Just how bad was it that he was hoping he could lay with Jai after this? For far from the first time, he wondered if it was possible to break his own fingers because of the nervous wringing.
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 16, 2015 18:09:47 GMT -5
Indigo clenched his teeth, still refusing to look at Jory, still fighting tears and failing now. He ignored them as though they didn't exist. Yes you screwed it up. I won't try to make you feel better this time. I can't tell you you're not a screw-up anymore, I can't tell either of us that you were just a victim of circumstance and you never did anything wrong. You're hurting because of choices you made. I don't have to say I'm sorry.
"I'm getting a roommate because I can't afford to keep the house," he snapped. "If my friend won't move in I'll just go back to the dorms. I don't need all that space." It had all just been playing house, hadn't it? Maybe he tried to grow up too fast.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 17, 2015 0:05:27 GMT -5
"You could afford it when you were telling me not to get a job," Jory countered, eyes flicking up to look at Indigo before he could control himself. He stopped twisting his hands together and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "You just said your parents were willing to pay off the lease, don't try to pull wool over my eyes or make me feel even worse." It was only then that he managed to bite his tongue. He didn't want to be angry at Indigo; the man didn't deserve it. "I'm sorry," he said, and brought up a hand to rub at his eyes.
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DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 17, 2015 12:25:09 GMT -5
Indigo's brows drew together in anger. "Did you even hear me? I said the magazine is shutting down! That's half my income!" Indigo glared at Jory through his fringe. "My parents were willing to pay off the semester's lease so I could go home, they aren't buying me a house!" His jaw clenched. "Look, I thought maybe we could be friends, but if this is what it's going to be like I can't do it. If I wanted to make you feel bad I wouldn't make stuff up. You... you're right. That's all we're ever going to be, and all you're ever going to think about." Indigo paused, looking out into the club, and shifted his weight. Maybe he should leave. Maybe this was a promise he shouldn't have kept.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 21, 2015 19:24:47 GMT -5
Jory bit his tongue. Literally bit down on it until he could taste blood. The last thing he needed to do was get into an argument or rant or ramble a hundred things that probably wouldn't make sense. "Maybe two months was too soon," he said. Neither of them had gotten their lives back together. Neither of them had really moved on. He still felt like the same idiot who always made the wrong choice. Even if he was changing and growing, it was happening so slowly.
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DrowningXxSpirit
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Post by Indigo Noble on Dec 23, 2015 16:22:39 GMT -5
"Maybe," Indigo agreed flatly. He started to fold his arms over his chest, then stopped after all and reached into his pocket. "Here, this is yours," he said. He thrust something small toward Jory, counting on that reflex to take what someone hands you. "I don't need it." He left the mirror with Jory and turned to leave.
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Post by Jory Addison on Dec 24, 2015 15:56:08 GMT -5
Jory took the item without even thinking about it, and in the short timespan between taking it and realizing what it was, Indigo had already left. He held the mirror in his hands and felt tears threatening, but he didn't stop Indigo, didn't call out. Now things felt permanent, like the stupid mirror was the final truth that they were really done. At least this little area was enough out of the way that, hopefully, no one would see him.
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